I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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