Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
