So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
