a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
