It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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