can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize