I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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