Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
wow bdsm is so cute
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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