no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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