Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I checked into jail on foursquare
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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