i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
