i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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