Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
