Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
