T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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