Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
