idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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