I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
