this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
