Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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