you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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