I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
