i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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