sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
