Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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