p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
