oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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