I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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