Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
