windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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