all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
