So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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