she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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