She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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