I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize