I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
