He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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