...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize