Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

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(202): if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision. http://tfl.nu/8vkq

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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(609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm

Replies (11) Good night (3551) Bad night (409)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(908): Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too. http://tfl.nu/4y2n

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(419): View more from Ohio

i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.

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(419): i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it. http://tfl.nu/1l7g

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(516): View more from New York

i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second

(631): View more from New York

i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead

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(516): i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second (631): i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead http://tfl.nu/vulg

Replies (28) Good night (3663) Bad night (716)
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(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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(408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8

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(860): View more from Connecticut

is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?

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(860): is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me? http://tfl.nu/7vt8

Replies (19) Good night (4658) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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(336): He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth" http://tfl.nu/505h

Replies (11) Good night (3542) Bad night (1975) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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(812): well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me. http://tfl.nu/v83s

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(280): View more from

So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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(280): So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on. http://tfl.nu/vkfv

Replies (12) Good night (2049) Bad night (366)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Sad Megan is Sad

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

Have you been drinking my beer?

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(864): Sad Megan is Sad (1-864): Have you been drinking my beer? http://tfl.nu/x7xq

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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(617): my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store. http://tfl.nu/jy53

Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (453)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

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(603): Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on. http://tfl.nu/oqbv

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(469): View more from Texas

HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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(469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo

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(316): View more from Kansas

She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.

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(316): She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/tcs7

Replies (13) Good night (558) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt

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