She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
