Whod you bang
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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