WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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