The maid of honor just puked.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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