Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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