The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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