I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
