If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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