I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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