Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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