i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
