If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize