Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
