She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I want is dick and wine.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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