So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Everyone says I win the strip club
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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