I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
