oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize